est. 1999 · never opened

The museum shop

alle Preise in DM · Bestellung per Fax

Exit through the gift shop

Every proper museum exits through one, and this museum is nothing if not proper. The shop has been fully stocked since 1999 and open since never. All prices are in Deutsche Mark, a currency last accepted in 2002 — which has done wonders for our returns policy.

The catalogue

+++ Nur solange der Vorrat reicht! +++ Alle Preise inkl. MwSt. +++ Heute im Angebot: ALLES +++ Bestellung nur per Fax +++ Wir akzeptieren: D-Mark, Vorkasse und gute Worte +++

The visitor-counter T-shirt

“You are visitor № 018735” across the chest. Every shirt individually numbered; no two visitors alike.

DM 29,99 inkl. MwSt.

The complete homepage on 3.5″ floppy

1.44 MB — the whole site fits twice. Rainbow lettering included at no extra charge.

DM 9,99 inkl. MwSt.
SALE!

The 56k handshake — cassette single

The full connection tone, both movements. B-side: busy signal (12 min.).

DM 14,99 inkl. MwSt.

88×31 badge sticker sheet

Best viewed on any surface. Includes one blank badge for the site you never finished.

DM 4,99 inkl. MwSt.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION poster, A1

Museum-grade print of the classic animated GIF, permanently mid-frame. Hangs unfinished since 1999.

DM 19,99 inkl. MwSt.

ICQ doorbell

Plays uh-oh! when someone is at the door. Batteries not included since 2001.

DM 24,99 inkl. MwSt.

Cinderella's photo frame — replica

Faithful copy of the museum's most famous empty frame. Photo not included. The photo was never included.

DM 12,99 inkl. MwSt.
NEU! seit 1999

Baklava, one tray

Family recipe from the 1999 homepage, printed on dot-matrix, perforated edges attached. Baking is the visitor's responsibility.

DM 2,99 inkl. MwSt.

Bestellung

Ihre Bestellung wurde per Fax übermittelt…

Kein Anschluss unter dieser Nummer.

The shop's fax machine was unplugged in 2003; no order has arrived since. Lieferzeit thereafter: 6 – 8 Wochen.

Nothing in this shop exists, nothing can be ordered, and no Deutsche Mark are accepted — here or anywhere else since 2002. The gift shop is itself an exhibit. Kein Gewerbe.

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